Being spiritual does not imply outer harmony. If it did, then Jesus never would have marched His way to the cross. He never would have been spit on, mocked, beaten, and murdered. He never would have been laughed at or called names. He never would have felt pain or anguish. He never would have had to avoid crowds and hide away. But we know that He did all these things. We know that though being perfect in every way, His outer life was far from any easy experience.

Yet what do we do when we approach the spiritual work? We might be wanting a healthy body, a healthy mind, a harmonious family environment. We might be looking for a conflict-free world where we get along with everyone around us. We might be trying to fabricate a life which we believe will bring us happiness. We might even think that when we get these things that it means we are being spiritual, that we are spiritual, and that our life is spiritual. But this is not the case. Spiritual life has absolutely nothing to do with outer circumstances. When chaos arises in the outer world, the first place to look is not how to fix the outer world but how to fix our inner chaos which has arisen in response. When this happens, when we harmonize inwardly, then the outer may or may not follow.

Contentment comes and goes. It is not the same as spiritual feelings. Yes there is contentment that comes with a healthy body and mind. Yes there is contentment that comes from a clean, healthy, constructive environment. Yes there is contentment with a period of rest, with having all our needs met, with being able to provide for our families. Yes there is contentment in all these things. But contentment is not happiness. Complications will always arise, and if we are attentive inwardly then we realize the complications are not much different than the contentment. They are both transitory, fleeting. It is the inward harmony and cleanliness that brings happiness throughout either outer experience.

Spirituality is not found in pleasure, pain, or contentment, but it is also not about denying ourselves the experiences of these things. Why run away from pain? We know it is transitory; there is nothing to run from. If we feel anguish, we do not have to write it off or try to smother it with positive thinking. We just have to go through it, seeing it for what it is, and being spiritual inwardly with faith. Remember with Jesus the two experiences become one, the marriage of Human with Divine. There was the Man who felt pain in the trials and tribulations (don’t forget Gethsemane), then there was the inner Man, the golden Man, free from both pain and pleasure, at true oneness with God, and this is something permanent.

Jesus did not seek to free Himself from that cross, did He? He could have if He wanted to, if our Father wanted Him to, but He did not, and this is a lesson worth reflecting on deeply. Why is our first reaction to pain in life to escape it? We say and pretend as though we put the spiritual first, but then we secretly think and behave as though we must fix the outer first in order to be spiritual. But the spiritual is not dependent on time or space or circumstances. The spiritual is in the here and now. Many people expend great amounts of physical and psychic energy to put on a harmonious outer life while in secret they are inwardly miserable in their dependence on outer harmony. They have forgotten that the spiritual is not something one has to show to anyone else, that it is not found in the fairy-tale life or the perfect job or at the next yoga retreat. It is not a display of anything nor is it an external experience in any way. Spirituality is a personal communion with God in our inner sanctum, when the heart and brain are ablaze with the fire of His Love. By walking with God, we know that He will provide the experiences we need in order to better walk with Him, that any complications which may arise outwardly are only temporary, and that this fire is what is true and everlasting, the fire of Being, acquired only by means of internal struggle free from dependence on any external thing.