a JoËoL blog

Playing Lumberjack

Joël — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:23:24 +0000

I’ve been playing lumberjack this weekend on this horrendous orange tree and some other things.

This was quite the dangerous adventure. Have you ever seen an orange tree? Those thorns are lethal, as you can see here with my fingers spanning the width of a thorn...

Yesterday I chopped it down and took it to the road and am now happy to have that fruitless, violent thing out of my backyard and out of my life forever.

Today I tried to finish uprooting it and did other necessary things around the house. Though yesterday went smoothly, today negativity kept creeping up on me, coloring everything with this negative, hateful tone and making everything much much harder than it had to be. Fortunately I remembered something I figured out when I was just a child, before this new age positive-thinking crap today. I had figured out that I could easily achieve seemingly difficult tasks by simply thinking that it was easy and not making a big deal out of it. Better late than never, I managed to apply this technique, not exactly positive thinking, deeper than that, really knowing that it’s not a big deal, kind of like a self-hypnosis. I also asked my inner Divine Mother to destroy the Ego (negativity) that was coming up. That’s something else I’ve picked up over the years and through experience found out works well. She has those transformative powers.

I also managed to apply this sort-of self-hypnosis when I had a heart murmur in the afternoon, resulting in weakness and the need to lie down. So I managed to lay there and tell my body and mind that it will return to a state of normality, that my heart would beat normally and easily, and that everything would be fine. And it was. It’s a shame to live in negative inner states, much better to take control of the wheel and know that everything’s gonna be fine and that we just need to stop being such a baby

Stupid tree... trees are stupid.

A New Banner and Feel for joeol.com

Joël — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 05:31:28 +0000

I’ve been brainstorming ideas for a new banner for main site joeol.com but not sure if I will start on it this weekend with free paint.net or wait until next week sometime to use Photoshop at school. The site will be getting updates soon with new sections and original content. Hope you stick around to see it.

Something Good

Joël — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:53:27 +0000

When I woke up this morning I wanted to do something good, something genuine. I wanted to be pure and true. It was this really strong feeling. But in opposition to that feeling was this pull to do something for myself, something involving a certain addiction/pleasure. But I really didn’t want to be that person, someone who does not listen to his heart and do the right thing, and so I accepted the challenge and battled that addiction which does no good out of its place, and I listened to my heart. And now, I feel so alive. I feel truly in charge of my vehicle. It’s a good feeling. Had I succumbed to the temptation of addiction, I would not have known this this morning, and I would not have accomplished what I had set out to accomplish. Essentially I would have done nothing and lost an opportunity. I feel like there is an open book waiting before me, like anything could happen, and I love it; I am truly free in this moment.

True evil is not after your body; it is after your heart and your mind. It will drag you down into a world of psychological slavery if you let it. But recognizing the challenge is the first step, and winning, the second.